This place can do a lot of things from what I hear.
[Make them do things that they'd rather not, for instance. She also doesn't know what to do with the apology though.]
I didn't know how to tell you. About what happened to you. [she grits her teeth, trying to find the words and get them out. Although Gamora's accusations at her still ring in her ears. About how Gamora's death and Thanos' getting all the stones in the first place had been all her fault. It stung, because it felt true.]
Because... I do think it was my fault. [She carried that weight of failure on her shoulders everyday.]
[Gamora's got no come back. Nebula's right. This place has already made her do a lot that she had no intention of doing. She opens her mouth to reply, but she ends up nodding instead.
There's silence too when Nebula admits that she thinks Gamora's death is her fault. It takes a moment for her confession to register with Gamora, for Gamora to process it. She looks sadly back at her sister.]
If my death is your fault, your torture is solely mine. Except, I... chose it. Your fate. You didn't choose mine. Nebula, I'm sorry.
What have they done to you as punishment? [How she's standing seems to be part of it. And she looks a little off, her hair a bit of a mess. And maybe Nebula is worried. She's heard how Submissives can be treated here. Nebula sounds concerned, if Gamora chooses to believe it's genuine.
Gamora's apology again make Nebula avert her gaze. She can't pretend she doesn't resent her for everything that happened to her. She wouldn't have tried to kill her so many times back home if she didn't. That's a resentment that doesn't simply disappear despite trying to mend their relationship.]
I'm sorry too. For not telling you sooner. We'd just started to mend things back home... and then... [And then.] I didn't mean to steal your life. Rocket and I only had each other for a long time. When we got everyone back, I wasn't about to go anywhere else.
[Nebula had needed a family just as much as Gamora had.]
Nothing is happening with Quill and I. Before you ask. I don't know what that network post was talking about. [Whatever she feels for Peter is not something she's willing to admit to herself, let alone anyone else.]
[Gamora doesn’t move for a moment. But with a sigh, she turns around. Nebula will realise she’s stood in her panties with a harness fastening her hands just below her butt cheeks. It’s not exactly comfortable, but that hardly bothers Gamora. Between the enhancements and sheer endurance training, physically, she can handle the bondage. She hates the humiliation.]
Perhaps even you could beat me now. [She laughs, trying to make it clear it’s a joke. But Nebula’s already talking and her uneasy laugh becomes a genuine smile. She’s upset, naturally, but she can imagine how well Nebula and Rocket would get on. Both had a cock-sure attitude and a flair for the dramatic. And both were intensely loyal to their families. She’s about to say as much but Nebula is already talking about Quill. It hurts. Even her denial hurts. Gamora fears it’s lies. Why else would the network say it? But… she’s dead. And Peter needs someone. Gamora looks down to hide the tears trickling slowly over her cheeks. After a moment, she manages,]
You have to look after him, Nebula. Be - [Fuck] - what I can never be. Learn to dance.
[That is not something Nebula ever wanted to see. Her sister trussed up like a sex object. Her cheeks flush a shade of purple, suddenly regretting that she'd asked. Although, when Gamora says that she momentarily forgets that embarrassment, glaring at first, but the laugh halts whatever retort she'd been brewing.] I will beat you someday, without any need of restraints. Once you are out of that inane contraption.
[There is a small quirk of a smile on her lips too, but it's faint. And any sight of it quickly fades at Gamora's ask about Quill.]
I'll look after him. I already am. But I'm not... it's not like that, Gamora! [She's indignant now, clearly getting flustered.] He's not over you. The version of you in our Galaxy, that's from a time before ever meeting the Guardians-- I think he hopes that she might come back. But she's joined the Ravagers. She's not you.
And I'm not you. [She never would be. Could never hope to be.]
[She’s beginning to realise that the goal here isn’t to be as good as a dominant, including Nebula. She’s supposed to be weaker, lower. Gamora hates it. It goes against her competitive nature. And with all this sadness, a good fight with Nebula is exactly what she needs.]
Next time, will they stop with a harness? [Is that How Nebula thought? Next time, will they stop with my arm? The weight of Gamora’s guilt increases. She can’t complain about something so trivial.]
My - the other Gamora joined the Ravagers? [She can’t imagine it.] she won’t go back to the Guardians then, not if she hasn’t joined. You know how stubborn I am. I do not tolerate idiocy and the Guardians are the biggest idiots in the galaxy.
[Shes sad. Just overwhelmingly sad about everything. That her life is going to end, that Thanos won. That she’s helped him. He’s used her weaknesses, her love, against her. She’s sad for Quill. For Nebula. And she’s upset even more that, if she wants to live, this place in which she is a submissive is the only place where she can do that.]
I don't want them punishing you. That's not winning, I-- [Nebula bristles defensively, as she so often did when Gamora was around.] I wanted you to feel the pain I felt for a long time. Even a fraction of it. But I don't... I don't feel like that anymore. I thought, after Ego, things were starting to be different.
[But as soon as Gamora showed up here, it's felt like nothing had changed at all from her sister's perspective. And it hurts more than Nebula can verbalize. She snorts a bit at the mention of the Guardians.]
They are absolutely idiots... [And Nebula still told them as much nearly daily, despite considering them family.] And I don't think the other Gamora knew how to handle the way Quill kept looking at her.
[He'd been the definition of coming on too strong. Nebula looks up at her, tense and uncertain. It's probably a bad idea to see her in person. She's still not convinced that her words aren't the city's doing. Still--]
[But Gamora doesn’t fully trust her sister. She realises with dismay that she’s waiting on tenterhooks for Nebula to turn, to gloat. Because if positions were reversed, she would. She has.]
Nebula, I haven’t trusted you. I’m sorry. [She hesitates.] That conversation - Ego? All of that happened a month ago for me, not years and years. I suppose, in a month… did you trust me after a month? Do you trust me now?
[She tilts her head.] But I want our relationship to be better.
[That look. Quill’s stupid look. It breaks Gamora’s heart to think that she won’t have much time left with him.]
She won’t have the patience to deal with his stupid puppy eyes.
[Its a small break through.]
I’m at Scratch, in the cabanas. Ororo’s letting me stay until I can get this harness off.
I don't entirely trust you now... because you don't trust me. [And her words earlier hand felt like daggers straight to her heart. It hurt far more than the blade she'd held at her neck.] I know that I tried to kill you many times. And that you have plenty of reason not to believe me... but I'm not who I was.
Rocket helped with that. The Avengers helped me. The other Guardians, too. I do want us to be real sisters. Like we were never able to be.
[There's a small smile on Nebula's lips as she ducks her head.] She kicked Quill in the crotch when they first met. Because he immediately tried to kiss her.
[Her expression sobers quickly, when the reality of it all comes back. Because Quill hadn't known it wasn't her. Their Gamora. Because she was gone and could never come back.]
I know Scratch. And Ororo. [Nebula likes Ororo, although she'd only met her the handful of times.] I will be there shortly.
[It still hurts. She feels so immensely sad when she hears Nebula talking about Rocket and the others. The Avengers, though that means nothing to Gamora. Just her life and all of its possibilities and the chance to be sisters - real sisters, not soldiers bred to hate and hurt - with Nebula. All snatched, once more, by their father. Gamora sniffs, frustrated that she can't wipe the tears that threaten to spill. It's rare she cries, but the knowledge of losing everything, everyone she cares about, is awful.
She is so glad when Nebula moves to a lighter topic, but her response is silenced as Nebula's expression sobers. She nods and cuts the feed to wait for her sister to arrive.]
[Nebula can't pretend it was otherwise. She'd hated Gamora more every time she'd mocked Nebula for losing and then pretended not to see what Thanos would do to her afterward. Each limb and piece of her taken, only to have it all mean nothing. Nothing she'd done had ever been good enough. What she would have given at the time to win or to hear Thanos praise her just once.
She makes her way to Scratch and heads to the back after asking around about where the cabanas are, finally finding Gamora in one of them. She keeps her distance, still. Just because her sister has her arms restrained didn't mean she couldn't still be dangerous.]
Sister... [Nebula doesn't know where to start, so she settles on that watching her and scowling a bit at the restraints. Maybe in the past she might have mocked her, but not now.]
[Gamora’s tense too. How she wishes things were normal between them. That they could laugh and cry and joke together. But that’s not their reality, not yet anyway. Gamora stays back, but it speaks volumes that Nebula isn’t taking advantage of her bondage. It brings back that uncomfortable lump of guilt in Gamora’s stomach.]
You came.
[She nods her head to the sofa bed.]
Please. Sit. Be comfortable. There’s lemonade - it’s a Terran drink - on the table.
[She eases herself down, arms bending awkwardly with the tight bondage. It’s uncomfortable but not painful and she grimaces.]
It would seem this place bears similarities to our home.
I did. [Nebula manages, watching Gamora and then the pitcher of lemonade. She moves slowly toward the drink, but doesn't turn her back to her sister for a moment. Her gaze follows Gamora's descent down to sitting and her discomfort.]
Similar. But not the same. It is a different sort of cruelty. [Nebula finds herself agreeing.] ...did you want a drink too? [Since as she is, Gamora can't exactly get one on her own.]
[It's more difficult to drink than Gamora cares to admit. Not impossible certainly, but not exactly dignified. She shakes her head, watching her sister watching her. Nebula's on edge, clearly not trusting her.]
You are right. Their punishments are not as violent as what we - you. Are used to.
[She stumbles a little. She has no right to claim to know Thanos' violence. Not like Nebula.]
I am sorry. For trying to kill you. For saying what I said. [She takes a breath.] I was... I...
[She can't admit how upset she was to Nebula. Gamora looks down at her bare thighs. It's easier to focus there than on her sister.] I don't blame you.
[In the same situation, Nebula would be very unlikely to accept her sister's help. Admitting to even obvious weakness isn't an easy thing for either of them, for obvious reasons. She sits beside her, holding the glass of lemonade in her lap and not immediately drinking it. Nebula's jaw tightens, staring down at the glass, finally turning to look at Gamora trying her hardest to look only at her face and not her bare legs. Seeing her like this is uncomfortable for a number of reasons.]
I blame me. [Nebula admits, trying to steel her expression.] I think every day what I could have done differently. If I hadn't let Thanos get that information out of my head...
I killed myself, you know. The version of me from the other Gamora's timeline. She was going to kill you. [She shakes her head, correcting herself.] The other you. And I couldn't let it happen. Not again.
[Its then that Gamora realises. If she hadn’t told Nebula where the Soul Stone was, then Thanos wouldn’t have tortured Nebula to make Gamora tell. The fault ultimately lies with Gamora. She takes a minute, working through her grief still. But Nebula killed Her counterpart to protect Gamora? There is so much love and hope expressed in that one violent sentiment. And Nebula killing her counterpart to save Gamora?
Things start clicking into place and Gamora starts to allow herself to be the bigger picture. The Guardians - her death - will allow Nebula to heal. Nebula can’t thrive with her sister, her competition, her torturer, there. In dying, Gamora will give Nebula a chance to grow and change and experience happiness. Her death won’t save the universe, but it will save her sister.
That at least clear in her head, Gamora looks up from her thighs and over at her sister.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[Make them do things that they'd rather not, for instance. She also doesn't know what to do with the apology though.]
I didn't know how to tell you. About what happened to you. [she grits her teeth, trying to find the words and get them out. Although Gamora's accusations at her still ring in her ears. About how Gamora's death and Thanos' getting all the stones in the first place had been all her fault. It stung, because it felt true.]
Because... I do think it was my fault. [She carried that weight of failure on her shoulders everyday.]
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There's silence too when Nebula admits that she thinks Gamora's death is her fault. It takes a moment for her confession to register with Gamora, for Gamora to process it. She looks sadly back at her sister.]
If my death is your fault, your torture is solely mine. Except, I... chose it. Your fate. You didn't choose mine. Nebula, I'm sorry.
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Gamora's apology again make Nebula avert her gaze. She can't pretend she doesn't resent her for everything that happened to her. She wouldn't have tried to kill her so many times back home if she didn't. That's a resentment that doesn't simply disappear despite trying to mend their relationship.]
I'm sorry too. For not telling you sooner. We'd just started to mend things back home... and then... [And then.] I didn't mean to steal your life. Rocket and I only had each other for a long time. When we got everyone back, I wasn't about to go anywhere else.
[Nebula had needed a family just as much as Gamora had.]
Nothing is happening with Quill and I. Before you ask. I don't know what that network post was talking about. [Whatever she feels for Peter is not something she's willing to admit to herself, let alone anyone else.]
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Perhaps even you could beat me now.
[She laughs, trying to make it clear it’s a joke.
But Nebula’s already talking and her uneasy laugh becomes a genuine smile. She’s upset, naturally, but she can imagine how well Nebula and Rocket would get on. Both had a cock-sure attitude and a flair for the dramatic. And both were intensely loyal to their families. She’s about to say as much but Nebula is already talking about Quill.
It hurts. Even her denial hurts. Gamora fears it’s lies. Why else would the network say it?
But… she’s dead. And Peter needs someone.
Gamora looks down to hide the tears trickling slowly over her cheeks.
After a moment, she manages,]
You have to look after him, Nebula. Be - [Fuck]
- what I can never be. Learn to dance.
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[There is a small quirk of a smile on her lips too, but it's faint. And any sight of it quickly fades at Gamora's ask about Quill.]
I'll look after him. I already am. But I'm not... it's not like that, Gamora! [She's indignant now, clearly getting flustered.] He's not over you. The version of you in our Galaxy, that's from a time before ever meeting the Guardians-- I think he hopes that she might come back. But she's joined the Ravagers. She's not you.
And I'm not you. [She never would be. Could never hope to be.]
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[She’s beginning to realise that the goal here isn’t to be as good as a dominant, including Nebula. She’s supposed to be weaker, lower. Gamora hates it. It goes against her competitive nature. And with all this sadness, a good fight with Nebula is exactly what she needs.]
Next time, will they stop with a harness? [Is that How Nebula thought? Next time, will they stop with my arm? The weight of Gamora’s guilt increases. She can’t complain about something so trivial.]
My - the other Gamora joined the Ravagers? [She can’t imagine it.] she won’t go back to the Guardians then, not if she hasn’t joined. You know how stubborn I am. I do not tolerate idiocy and the Guardians are the biggest idiots in the galaxy.
[Shes sad. Just overwhelmingly sad about everything. That her life is going to end, that Thanos won. That she’s helped him. He’s used her weaknesses, her love, against her. She’s sad for Quill. For Nebula. And she’s upset even more that, if she wants to live, this place in which she is a submissive is the only place where she can do that.]
Will you tolerate me in person, Nebula?
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[But as soon as Gamora showed up here, it's felt like nothing had changed at all from her sister's perspective. And it hurts more than Nebula can verbalize. She snorts a bit at the mention of the Guardians.]
They are absolutely idiots... [And Nebula still told them as much nearly daily, despite considering them family.] And I don't think the other Gamora knew how to handle the way Quill kept looking at her.
[He'd been the definition of coming on too strong. Nebula looks up at her, tense and uncertain. It's probably a bad idea to see her in person. She's still not convinced that her words aren't the city's doing. Still--]
I can meet you. Where are you?
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[But Gamora doesn’t fully trust her sister. She realises with dismay that she’s waiting on tenterhooks for Nebula to turn, to gloat. Because if positions were reversed, she would. She has.]
Nebula, I haven’t trusted you. I’m sorry. [She hesitates.]
That conversation - Ego? All of that happened a month ago for me, not years and years. I suppose, in a month… did you trust me after a month? Do you trust me now?
[She tilts her head.] But I want our relationship to be better.
[That look. Quill’s stupid look. It breaks Gamora’s heart to think that she won’t have much time left with him.]
She won’t have the patience to deal with his stupid puppy eyes.
[Its a small break through.]
I’m at Scratch, in the cabanas. Ororo’s letting me stay until I can get this harness off.
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Rocket helped with that. The Avengers helped me. The other Guardians, too. I do want us to be real sisters. Like we were never able to be.
[There's a small smile on Nebula's lips as she ducks her head.] She kicked Quill in the crotch when they first met. Because he immediately tried to kiss her.
[Her expression sobers quickly, when the reality of it all comes back. Because Quill hadn't known it wasn't her. Their Gamora. Because she was gone and could never come back.]
I know Scratch. And Ororo. [Nebula likes Ororo, although she'd only met her the handful of times.] I will be there shortly.
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[It still hurts. She feels so immensely sad when she hears Nebula talking about Rocket and the others. The Avengers, though that means nothing to Gamora. Just her life and all of its possibilities and the chance to be sisters - real sisters, not soldiers bred to hate and hurt - with Nebula. All snatched, once more, by their father.
Gamora sniffs, frustrated that she can't wipe the tears that threaten to spill. It's rare she cries, but the knowledge of losing everything, everyone she cares about, is awful.
She is so glad when Nebula moves to a lighter topic, but her response is silenced as Nebula's expression sobers. She nods and cuts the feed to wait for her sister to arrive.]
>action
She makes her way to Scratch and heads to the back after asking around about where the cabanas are, finally finding Gamora in one of them. She keeps her distance, still. Just because her sister has her arms restrained didn't mean she couldn't still be dangerous.]
Sister... [Nebula doesn't know where to start, so she settles on that watching her and scowling a bit at the restraints. Maybe in the past she might have mocked her, but not now.]
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You came.
[She nods her head to the sofa bed.]
Please. Sit. Be comfortable. There’s lemonade - it’s a Terran drink - on the table.
[She eases herself down, arms bending awkwardly with the tight bondage. It’s uncomfortable but not painful and she grimaces.]
It would seem this place bears similarities to our home.
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Similar. But not the same. It is a different sort of cruelty. [Nebula finds herself agreeing.] ...did you want a drink too? [Since as she is, Gamora can't exactly get one on her own.]
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You are right. Their punishments are not as violent as what we - you. Are used to.
[She stumbles a little. She has no right to claim to know Thanos' violence. Not like Nebula.]
I am sorry. For trying to kill you. For saying what I said.
[She takes a breath.] I was... I...
[She can't admit how upset she was to Nebula. Gamora looks down at her bare thighs. It's easier to focus there than on her sister.] I don't blame you.
[It's not quite a lie.]
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I blame me. [Nebula admits, trying to steel her expression.] I think every day what I could have done differently. If I hadn't let Thanos get that information out of my head...
I killed myself, you know. The version of me from the other Gamora's timeline. She was going to kill you. [She shakes her head, correcting herself.] The other you. And I couldn't let it happen. Not again.
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[Its then that Gamora realises. If she hadn’t told Nebula where the Soul Stone was, then Thanos wouldn’t have tortured Nebula to make Gamora tell. The fault ultimately lies with Gamora.
She takes a minute, working through her grief still. But Nebula killed Her counterpart to protect Gamora?
There is so much love and hope expressed in that one violent sentiment. And Nebula killing her counterpart to save Gamora?
Things start clicking into place and Gamora starts to allow herself to be the bigger picture. The Guardians - her death - will allow Nebula to heal. Nebula can’t thrive with her sister, her competition, her torturer, there. In dying, Gamora will give Nebula a chance to grow and change and experience happiness.
Her death won’t save the universe, but it will save her sister.
That at least clear in her head, Gamora looks up from her thighs and over at her sister.]
I love you, Nebula.